A Trauma-informed response to the Cornell case

A note for women who are carrying their own stories of trauma and wondering whether therapy could help.

As I listened to a news-style podcast today about a former Cornell student who has filed a lawsuit alleging she was gang-raped at a fraternity house in 2024, I noticed how familiar her story, and specifically her response to the trauma, was to me as a Trauma Therapist who sits with women who have experienced sexual assault.

If you've been following the news, you may have noticed your own body reacting: a tight chest, a sinking feeling, a sudden urge to avoid the story or to read every word...a deep feeling of anger and rage. Maybe this reminds you of something that happened a long time ago in your own history.

Here is how I might respond to someone sitting across from me telling me they are impacted by this event.

You're not overreacting

A high-profile case like this can reactivate old trauma, even if it was years ago, even if you've dealt with it, even if your experience was nothing like this one.

It is normal if you notice:

• Intrusive memories, nightmares, or flashbacks (images of the event that feel like they are happening in the here and now)

• Anger, numbness, feeling detached or "floaty"

• Self-blame that suddenly gets louder

• Avoiding the news or any reminders of the trauma

  
  

How trauma works

• Memory can be fragmented. Gaps, out-of-order recollection, and details that emerge over time are really common after a traumatic event. Someone may need time to come to terms with what happened to them - it can take weeks, months, and even years.

• Freeze response is not consent. It is pretty obvious that we need more education about consent. When trauma meets consent, here is what is important to know: people often comply, freeze, or say whatever keeps them the most safe in the moment.

• Coercion is real. Giving in after being asked repeatedly is not the same thing as freely agreeing. Enthusiastic consent is much different than giving in.

Here is my favorite resource to use when explaining consent: FRIES from Planned Parenthood

Take care of yourself

If you are feeling triggered, overwhelmed, or fatigued by the coverage of this or other news stories... it is okay to take a break.

I learned for myself how to take news breaks during COVID. It is okay to set a limit on how much information you are listening to, reading about, and intaking. It is okay not to be completely informed all the time.

It may also feel liberating to join a Survivor's Protest, use your voice, or write a letter. You could tell your own sexual assault story in a way that feels right to you. The #iamjanedoe movement is very moving. Sometimes advocacy and action is the best response to the feelings of hopeless, anger, and sadness.

Also, Trauma Therapy can help. I work with women located in Kansas, Missouri, and Washington State who have experienced trauma and are looking for a way to feel less impacted by past events. You can reach out to me here. I will believe you.

This post is for general information and isn't a substitute for professional mental health care.