Sexual Health after Trauma

It is estimated that 40 to 45 percent of women are impacted by sexual problems, such as lower sexual interest, arousal, orgasms, and sexual satisfaction, with a noticeable correlation between trauma and adult sexual issues. Yet, in my office many women tell me they feel like the only one.

What is sexual health?

EMDR therapy does not have to stop at helping with someone heal from sexual trauma. In today's post I'd like to offer possibility: you can experience positive and healthy intimacy and sexual health after trauma. You can feel at home in your body once more, if you want to.

Sexual Health definition from Our Whole Lives (OWL) Sexuality Education Curriculum: "Knowledge about human sexuality is helpful, not harmful. Every person has the right no accurate information."

Sexual Health definition from World Association for Sexual Health (WAS): "a state of physical, mental, and social well-being in relation to sexuality that requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relations, as well as the possibility of having pleasant and safe sexual experiences, free from all coercion, discrimination, and violence."

Sexual health can look very different from one woman to the next. There is no single "normal" level of desire, frequency, or response. What maters is - do you have the relationship with sex that you want? If there was a way to have a relationship with sex free from pain, anxiety, trauma responses, would you want that?

I believe information about sexual health can be integrated into an EMDR Treatment Plan, and my clients have permission to talk, ask questions, and share their feelings and concerns related to sexual health issues.

Common experiences after Trauma

In my work with trauma survivors, I often hear the following:

• Feeling disconnected, numb, or "not there" during intimacy

• Low or fluctuating desire that can leave you feeling confused

• Anxiety or distress around touch, even if it's someone you trust

• Pain during sex

• Difficulty with boundaries, either saying no or knowing what you want

• Shame or guilt tied to messages about sex you heard growing up

• Intrusive memories, body sensations, or sudden emotional shifts during intimate moments

If you relate to any of these, you are not alone. In fact, your nervous system is likely doing what it believes is necessary to keep you safe.

What Trauma Recovery Can Look Like

Recovery doesn't mean wanting sex more, or in any particular way. It means the choice is yours.

Over time, women often describe:

• Feeling more present in their bodies, in and out of intimate moments

• Noticing and honoring their own yes, no, and “not yet”

• Less shame and self-blame about their reactions

• Touch that no longer sets off alarm or numbness the wa

  y it used to

• A growing sense that their body is theirs again

I hope this post helps you feel less alone and possibly even less "broken." The truth is that you deserve pleasure, choice, and connection. I'm here to help if you feel ready to begin.